Behavior In Relationships

Step 1: Your Relationship Bank Account `Each of us has beliefs about what represents “positive” and “negative” behavior in relationships with family, friends, and others.  Think of these beliefs as your “personal rules” for relationships.  This part of the assignment allows you to use your self-awareness to identify some “personal rules” you have for relationships in college.  It introduces the idea of a “relationship bank account” as a way to help you identify your “personal rules” for what represents positive and negative behaviors on a project team.

Step 1 is like a case study: it gives you a fictional situation and you will reflect on how you would react in that situation.  This part of the assignment is not asking you to reflect on actual students in our class.  Imagine that you are on a project team for one of your classes.   If you are currently in a team for another class, you might use that experience as you reflect on the situations below.

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At the top of a scratch piece of paper, write the number “100.”The number “100” represents the balance you have with one member of your imaginary project team.  After reading each situation below, decide whether your team member added or subtracted from their ‘relationship bank account’ with you, and how much they added or subtracted. Example: Situation: You tell this teammate you are having difficulty in a class.  The teammate tells you they took that class last semester and earned an A.  They offer to meet with you before the next test to help you study. In this situation, did your team member add or subtract from the 100 balance in their relationship bank account with you?

Let’s say they added 20 because your “personal rules” place a high value on behaviors that show someone understands your situation and offers help before it is requested.  The new balance in their relationship bank account with you is now 120.  Situation:  This same teammate says something in a discussion referring to something you told them privately.  Your “personal rules” place a high value on confidentiality, so this person has now withdrawn 50 points.  120 minus 50 equals 70, which is the new balance. Situations: Your teammate noticed you weren’t in class and picked up an extra set of handouts for you.

After class, they texted to check on you.  Does this behavior add or subtract from their “relationship bank account” with you?  How much does it add or subtract?  Calculate your new total. Your teammate agreed to a meeting time for the team but, five minutes after the meeting was supposed to start,  texted to say “Something came up. Can’t make it.” How much does this behavior add or subtract from their relationship bank account with you?  Calculate your new total. Your teammate arranged a meeting room for your team and helped the team set an agenda so your meeting was productive.

How much does this behavior add or subtract from their relationship bank account with you?  Calculate your new total. Your teammate comes to meetings but does not contribute.  Is often on their phone. How much does this behavior add or subtract from their relationship bank account with you?  Calculate your new total. Your teammate responds promptly on the group chat. How much does this behavior add or subtract from their relationship bank account with you?  Calculate your new total.

Your team set a deadline for everyone to submit material for the presentation.  Your teammate missed the deadline and did not contact the team or explain why. How much does this behavior add or subtract from their relationship bank account with you?  Calculate your new total.

For your post to the discussion, answer the 5 questions below, referring to how you responded to each of the six situations.

Number your answers and type in bold the words that appear in blue bold so it is clear what question you are answering.  Your original post will include Step 1 and Step 2.

Balance: What is the balance on your relationship bank account after reading and responding to each of the situations? Withdrawals: What situations caused you to make the biggest withdrawals? Persoal Rule for Withdrawals:  What “personal rule” did your teammate break that led to the withdrawals?  For example, maybe you expect people you have relationships with to fulfill their commitments, even if it means they need to come up with an alternative.

Deposits: What scenarios caused you to make the biggest deposits? Personal Rule for Deposits:  What “relationship rule” did your teammate follow that led to the deposits?  For example, maybe you value it when someone helps you out, even if you have not requested help.

Step 2: Goals and Rules for Your Success Team You have been randomly assigned to a small group (3-5) students who will be your Success Team.  You have been assigned this discussion in your Success Team, so you will meet them and the discussion will take place among the 3-5 members of your team only.

Only after you have posted will you be able to see the names of your Success Team members.  (For those of you who enjoy a mystery, this discussion offers you a taste of that: as each member posts, the names of your Success Team members will be revealed!) The purpose of Success Team is to help you build your interdependence by providing a support network in our class to help you finish strong this semester.

To ensure your team functions effectively, for Step 2 of this discussion you will apply the 3 guidelines for effective study groups from Chapter 5 of On Course.  Skip Downing suggests three steps for maximizing the value of a study group: Choose Only Creators.  Instead of making a choice, you have been assigned to this group.  It is up to you and your teammates to create a Creator culture in this group.

Choose Group Goals.  Effective Success Teams have shared goals.   Choose Group Rules.  As a team, you will create what On Course refers to as a “team covenant” for the steps that you will each take to reach your team’s goals.     Your original post will include Step 1 and Step 2.  For Step 2 of the discussion, answer the 4 questions below.  Number your answers and type in bold the words that appear in blue bold so it is clear what question you are answering.

5.  Introduction: Briefly tell your team about yourself: your name, preferred pronouns, major, etc.

6.  My Creator Statement:  What Creator choices will you make to support a Creator culture in this Success Team?

7.  Group Goals: Suggest at least two possible goals for your Success Team, being sure to apply the DAPPS rule.  For example, “By Friday, December 11th, each member of the team will have completed the class, earned their goal grade, and continued their 32-Day Commitment.”

8.  Group Rules: Suggest at least two steps that each member of your team can take to reach your team’s goals.  Be sure they meet the DAPPS rule.  For example, “Starting Week 10, each week every member of the team will contact the other team members twice: On Mondays to share their DAPPS goals for the week and again on Saturday to report on their progress.”

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