[SOLVED] Revise my essay
Im working on a Writing exercise and need support.
I need help on my essay.
I see my essay is not really showing my opinion. Mostly all my paragraphs are just explainig the evidence I use. I want my essay more professional.
I want you to add more setence that show my position and not repeating same ideas over and over.
I attached the 3 files
1. Essay prompt with requirements.
2. Esaay draft and reviewed by professor (Please read carefully for professor comment with essay requirement on last page)
3. My revised essay ( I revised after professor commnets but still not satisfied the requirements.
**** Full pages please***